First of all, what are you doing? Unless you’ve been officially cuffed by your significant other, then there’s no reason to be spending money on them – in principle. But hey, we’ve all been there and we know how a situationship has you acting loyal for no reason. So if you’re feeling sentimental, we’ve compiled a list of gifts for you to get your situationship – keeping it casual while also saying “please ask me out for real.”
Praying “Goes Missing” Tank Top - £28 / $30
Consider this a warning if your situationship still doesn’t want to make it official.
Buy.
Supreme FW17 Handcuff Keychain - £93 (approx.) / $118.66
What says “cuff me” more than a pair of handcuffs. And no these are not life-size, they are a keychain so get your head out of the gutter.
Buy.
Chet Lo x Tinder “Don’t Be Sad. Ur So Hot.” T-Shirt - £65 / $82 (approx.)
I mean, the t-shirt says it all – don’t be sad, you are hot.
Buy.
HOMME PLISSÉ ISSEY MIYAKE Fruitful Socks - £60 / $75 (approx.)
This is a great gift for all those commitmentphobes. There’s nothing like a pair of socks to fight cold feet when faced with the idea of a long-term, serious relationship.
Buy.
NAMED COLLECTIVE Internet Girlfriend Sweatpants - £90 / $110 (approx.)
Realistically, you’re not going to be caught outside with your situationship, so get them something to lounge around in your bedroom-ridden relationship (and that you can borrow, i.e. steal, from them).
Buy.
Glenfiddich 15 year old Single Malt Scotch Whiskey - £51 / $64 (approx.)
Listen, we won’t promote excessive alcohol consumption but there comes a point in time where you need a little something to withstand everything your situationship has been putting you through – here’s to hoping it won’t take you 15 years to get cuffed
Buy.
We discourage underage drinking. Please consume alcohol safely and above the 18+ legal age limit. Drink responsibly.
Acne Studios Heart Hoops - £330 / $420
Unsure how to confess your undying love for your situationship? This pair of Heart Hoops will serve as the messenger.
Buy.
BYOMA De-Puff and Brighten Eye Gel - £12.99 / $16 (approx.)
If you’re in a situationship, chances are you’ve made your (non-official) partner cry. Be a good one this Valentine’s Day and give them an actually useful fixer-upper.
Buy.
“Unblock Me” Ritual - £19.85 / $25.04 (approx.)
Is your situationship playing hard-to-get a bit TOO well? No worries, here’s an “Unblock Me” ritual for those block-ees. And if you’re the one who blocked, let’s be real, you’re going to unblock them anyway and end up at theirs at 2 a.m. on Valentine’s Day.
Buy.
Perfumer H, Refillable Rose Candle - £155 / $195 (approx.)
Someone’s gotta refresh the room after your Valentine’s Day steamy bedroom activities.
Buy.
Swarovski Hyperbola pendant - £580 / $730 (approx.)
I mean, speak about getting semi-cuffed – forget the engagement ring and get a love-heart pendant necklace instead.
Buy.
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