No relationship? No problem: our shopping guide for the recently dumped

No relationship? No problem: our shopping guide for the recently dumped

by Robyn Pullen
10 min

Valentine’s Day might be the most romantic day of the year but, according to statistics, it’s also the time you’re most likely to get dumped. If you’re one of the many recent singles keeping the tear-supply flowing post Valentine’s, spending the days and nights wondering what went wrong… was it you… should you text them… Stop. Retail therapy is therapy (no matter what your therapist says) and we’re here to get you out of the post-break-up slump. So shop ‘til you drop their unworthy *ss and find someone better.

Stüssy New Era 9TWENTY Cap – £45.00 / $56.94

In case you’re still in the “Joe Goldberg era” of your recent break-up, and are more interested in stalking your ex around London than moving on, this camouflage print cap from Stüssy is perfect. Blend in with any background and look good enough that, if they spot you, it’s not so bad.

Buy

Fenty Skin Lux Balm – £16.00 / $20.25

You can always feel better about being single by emulating the confidence of your favourite celebs. Whether that’s by buying their whole outfit or just a piece of their look, we’d recommend copying A$AP Rocky’s latest trademark: the Fenty Skin Lux Balm which he’s basically become the face of. If there’s one person everyone wants to look this, its Rocky.

Buy

OPEN YY Khaki Floral T-Shirt – £85.00 / $107.25

You can buy yourself flowers, just don’t get the kind that will sit and rot in an empty mug on the side. Instead, buy flowers in a form that will last, like this mesh t-shirt from Open YY, detailed with a subdued khaki floral print. Flowers wilt and decay; fashion is forever. Remember that next time you think about how your ex never bought you any.

Buy

NICCE Mens Mercury Hoodie – £55.00 / $69.40

Instead of wallowing over all your hoodies that were stolen borrowed and never given back, move on and invest in a new one: one so comfortable, so luxurious, so elevated that you’ll never let it go. The selection of sweatshirts and hoodies from NICCE are all of these things… just make sure you don’t let anyone get close enough to knick one.

Buy

Crep Protect Spray – £12.00 / $15.14

You might not have been able to protect your heart, but your creps are another story. With a spritz of Crep Protect’s iconic spray – you know the one – your sneakers will literally repel stains and liquid spillages. Unfortunately, a similar spray for protecting your heart is yet to come onto the market, but we’ll keep you posted for when it does.

Buy

The Grey The Starter Set – £107.08 / $135.11

The perfect post break-up revenge is a glow-up, and what’s a better way to achieve this by actually glowing? With The Grey’s skincare starter pack, a set featuring its most iconic duo (the 3 in 1 face cream and Charcoal face wash) your skin will be glowing in only a matter of days.

Buy

Meller Esi All Black Sunglasses – £49.00 / $61.83

It’s time to stop crying and get out of the house; you’re not going to find a rebound watching comfort TV with a takeaway. So get dressed up and cover your bleary, tear-filled eyes with a pair of shades, like this luxurious black-rimmed pair from Meller in the Esi silhouette. 

Buy

Rick Owens Black Skull Balaclava – £440.00 / $556.54

So, you’ve reached the point in the break-up where you’re keen to get out the house again but terrified you’ll run into your ex at your local. Enter Rick Owens’ black balaclava, the perfect accessory for venturing down the pub with confidence that your ex will not spot you. And if they do, they’ll probably be too terrified to say “hi.”

Buy

René Scheibenbauer Score Knit Skirt Mini Celadon – £240.00 / $304.08

After a particularly brutal breakup, mini skirts are the first sign of recovery. Whether they’re a basic staple or a more elevated take with cut-outs to expose a bit of skin, like this turquoise one from René Scheibenbauer, donning a mini skirt is the number one way to revive your old single self.

Buy

MAD PARIS White D1 Milano Edition Concept Watch – £205.00 / $258.67

Do you know what time it is? It’s time to move on. Ignoring that (hilarious) pun, it’s actually time you treated yourself to a luxury item that won’t age, depreciate, or abandon you like you ex did. For example, an elevated watch from MAD PARIS, like the D1 Milano Edition Condept watch, is perfect. It’s flexible, comfortable, useful: all the things your ex wasn’t.

Buy

COPERNI Burgundy Asymmetric Draped T-Shirt – £480.00 / $605.66

What says “I’m over them,” more than a mesh top? No, we’re actually asking because we can’t think of anything. That’s why this sexy, asymmetric, draped mesh top from Coperni is the number one method of proving you’ve moved on, without screaming it directly in their face. Wear with a bra or without one for extra effect.

Buy

MIISTA Red Ashlyn Snake Mules – £330.00 / $416.39

These shoes were made for looking effortlessly, casually, flawlessly cool whilst grinding dirt into your ex’s carpet (one last time). In hot, sultry red, patent snakeskin print, this iconic mule from MIISTA is inspired by underground club scenes of the late mid-century. Named Ashlyn, they’re basically your new girl best friend.

Buy

Y/PROJECT Black Y Belt Pouch Bag – £365.00 / $461.68

You might be single but you know what people say that means: less baggage. One of the best parts of not being in a relationship is not needing to lug around the baggage that is another person’s bad days, moods, and attitudes. That’s why your own baggage can take a downsize. This Y/PROJECT belt bag is just small enough to fit your own problems in. It’s light, comfortable, and iconic.

Buy

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