Yep that’s right, heatwave number two is in full swing and it’s already August which means we’re trudging through the last dregs of our holidays. With Summer coming to a close you might be trying to find a way to cut-off Hinge girl while simultaneously trying to make Bumble boy into something more than a summer situationship and you want to be well-equipped to do so! Whether it be losing love, jetting off on the last minute holiday that’s finally made its way out of the group-chat, or you’re stuck in the UK bearing the heatwave and manifesting autumn, we’ve rounded up the best bits for the best of the last minute bunch to make sure that Summer ‘22 is the messiest (we meant best) one yet.
BEEFA (IBIZA) BEACH DAYS
Messy last minute holidays are and forever will be the source of the most iconic moments. Not even the one hour queues for security checks or the 4 hour flight delays (@RYANAIR) can kill our vibe! Waiting in said queue and trying not to beef your mates before you’ve even taken off can only be done with the Futura Laboratories special edition beats, airport fit in check, obviously wearing Stüssy’s Logo Zip Hoodie and Obey shorts. Only the Frankies Bikinis x Gigi Hadid bikini can balance sexy and cute while you wait for the perfect tan, living your main character moment while fighting for towel space on Cala Bassa. A right of passage reading the gripping romance Nelson’s Open Water, while subtly eye-f*cking the obvious gorp-core enthusiast with his Reebok beatniks covering his most definitely manicured toes (would we expect anything less from a fashion boy?). Arket mens Tote bag on one arm and his vintage Nikon digital camera on the other – green flag?
SUMMER LOVIN HAD ME A BLAST (NOT!)
Rest in peace Olivia Newton-John but we’ve screamed/sang ‘Summer Nights’ so many times over the past few months in a feeble attempt at pseudo-manifestation and yet nothing. Endless nights scrolling on dating apps where the bar is quite literally in Hell (and by Hell we mean Hinge), dodging Andrew Tate progenies left right and centre. And so with Summer coming to a close, rather than making our leather leggings/greased quiff glow ups, we’re going semi – Goblin-mode but tastefully and with ease. Start off with something less grease inducing like the Horace Wax Pomade or a nice scent – try Maison Margiela’s Replica by The Fireplace. We want to run out of the house and brave the heat as if we haven’t been cocooning for two months. Let’s set the scene, you’re in a CouCou intimates vest and HommeGirls boxers, with your prized Armani Icy plexiglass mini clutch bag and two shots of 818 tequila down the hatch (if you’re in the US prink like you’ve never done before – for us we’re begging you), on your way to semi-decent night out in Soho, hoping to meet mr. “rocking the Bladee x Heaven jeans” Right.
SUMMER’S NOT OVER YET!
Pardon the Love Island pun but if you’re like us and you’re stuck in fashion purgatory, buying Summer holiday bits while also conscious of Autumn’s impending breeze then look no further. We’re indulging in the Dyson Cool Auto React Purifying Fan, a worthy investment because global warming is very real and our Summers are only going to get warmer. If you want the most versatile and fashion forward piece then anything from the late Issey Miyake’s Pleats Please line will do but we’re particularly obsessed with the line of pants. You’re transitional- but still very Summer focused wardrobe (just in case flight prices and inflation fall in the next two seconds), needs the Bladee x Heaven Bones bracelet and the less controversial counterpart to Addison Rae’s Praying x Adidas bikini – the God’s Favourite Cap, pair it with Daily Paper socks and Axel Arigato Magma Sandals (also great for a quick airport fit) – perfect for the flight home.
And if your Summer essentials list doesn’t have any of the above, then toss it in the Balenciaga Trash Bag, it’s only $1,790!
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See also: GO BIG OR GO HOME: THE MACRO GUIDE
See also: ‘GOES TO IBIZA ONCE’: THE SHOPPING GUIDE
