What to get your situationship this Valentine’s Day

What to get your situationship this Valentine’s Day

by Juliette Eleuterio
7 min

First of all, what are you doing? Unless you’ve been officially cuffed by your significant other, then there’s no reason to be spending money on them – in principle. But hey, we’ve all been there and we know how a situationship has you acting loyal for no reason. So if you’re feeling sentimental, we’ve compiled a list of gifts for you to get your situationship – keeping it casual while also saying “please ask me out for real.”

Praying “Goes Missing” Tank Top – £28 / $30

Consider this a warning if your situationship still doesn’t want to make it official.

Buy.

Supreme FW17 Handcuff Keychain – £93 (approx.) / $118.66

What says “cuff me” more than a pair of handcuffs. And no these are not life-size, they are a keychain so get your head out of the gutter.

Buy.

Chet Lo x Tinder “Don’t Be Sad. Ur So Hot.” T-Shirt – £65 / $82 (approx.)

I mean, the t-shirt says it all – don’t be sad, you are hot.

Buy.

HOMME PLISSÉ ISSEY MIYAKE Fruitful Socks – £60 / $75 (approx.)

This is a great gift for all those commitmentphobes. There’s nothing like a pair of socks to fight cold feet when faced with the idea of a long-term, serious relationship.

Buy.

NAMED COLLECTIVE Internet Girlfriend Sweatpants – £90 / $110 (approx.)

Realistically, you’re not going to be caught outside with your situationship, so get them something to lounge around in your bedroom-ridden relationship (and that you can borrow, i.e. steal, from them).

Buy.

Glenfiddich 15 year old Single Malt Scotch Whiskey – £51 / $64 (approx.)

Listen, we won’t promote excessive alcohol consumption but there comes a point in time where you need a little something to withstand everything your situationship has been putting you through – here’s to hoping it won’t take you 15 years to get cuffed

Buy.

We discourage underage drinking. Please consume alcohol safely and above the 18+ legal age limit. Drink responsibly.

Acne Studios Heart Hoops – £330 / $420

Unsure how to confess your undying love for your situationship? This pair of Heart Hoops will serve as the messenger.

Buy.

BYOMA De-Puff and Brighten Eye Gel – £12.99 / $16 (approx.)

If you’re in a situationship, chances are you’ve made your (non-official) partner cry. Be a good one this Valentine’s Day and give them an actually useful fixer-upper.

Buy.

“Unblock Me” Ritual – £19.85 / $25.04 (approx.)

Is your situationship playing hard-to-get a bit TOO well? No worries, here’s an “Unblock Me” ritual for those block-ees. And if you’re the one who blocked, let’s be real, you’re going to unblock them anyway and end up at theirs at 2 a.m. on Valentine’s Day.

Buy.

Perfumer H, Refillable Rose Candle – £155 / $195 (approx.)

Someone’s gotta refresh the room after your Valentine’s Day steamy bedroom activities.

Buy.

Swarovski Hyperbola pendant – £580 / $730 (approx.)

I mean, speak about getting semi-cuffed – forget the engagement ring and get a love-heart pendant necklace instead.

Buy.

More on Culted

See: A Valentine’s guide to treating yourself

See: A Valentine’s Day shopping guide for lads and dads

in other news

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